A Surprise Weekend In Antigua

I am very lucky to have a boyfriend who is completely supportive of my erratic schedule and long solo trips. I don’t want to get too mushy here, but he makes me feel like fucking Beyonce every damn day. I wanted to surprise him with a trip to the Caribbean over our anniversary, so I told him we would be going away for a long weekend. All he knew was that it would be somewhere warm.

Me and Pate

Me and Pate

The plan was to take him to the airport, blindfold him and put headphones on and ideally get him all the way to Antigua before telling him exactly where he was. Unfortunately, in an exhausted state the morning we left, I accidentally spilled the beans. I was fucking devastated, but Pate was super excited.

We flew American Airlines which I would never fucking do if they hadn’t had a great deal on direct flights to Antigua. I fucking hate American Airlines. Satan’s asshole of US carriers if you ask me. Thankfully, there were no major issues (such as blood on the seat #tbt) and we got to Antigua without any major stresses.


We stayed in a fantastic AirBnB called Pineapple House, located in Falmouth Harbor, just around the corner from English Harbor.

LOOK HOW PRETTY THIS PLACE IS!

LOOK HOW PRETTY THIS PLACE IS!

This was an AWESOME spot. We had our own guest house with a king bed, ensuite bathroom, and a hammock (I FUCKING LOVE HAMMOCKS) on the terrace, and we were only five steps from the main house, where the shared kitchen was. I highly recommend staying in this neighborhood as there are some nice places to eat, a great view of the harbor and all the yachts, and also a quick 10 minute walk to gorgeous Pigeon Beach. We also loved staying at Pineapple House, because there is always a mix of people staying there (some local, some not), and it gets pretty popping at night!

and in the morning you can watch multi million dollar yachts pass by while crying into your coffee because you are not yet beyonce...

and in the morning you can watch multi million dollar yachts pass by while crying into your coffee because you are not yet beyonce...

Saturday

Now, Antigua is famous for having 365 beaches, one for every day of the year. While I would LOVE to visit every one of those (for research sake, obvs) we only had a weekend. My favorite of the few we did visit, was Pigeon Beach.

floating like a boat cuz tbh I can't really swim well

floating like a boat cuz tbh I can't really swim well

I like quiet beaches, and there were only a few locals there, the water is super clear, and there is a great French restaurant/cocktail bar at the far end of it. Did I murderfuck some rum punch? Of course I fucking did.

RUM PUNCH OR DIE/ RUM PUNCH AND DIE

RUM PUNCH OR DIE/ RUM PUNCH AND DIE

*BTW if you like bigger beaches, Dickenson Bay was nice. I mean, fucking SANDALS resort is located along the beach so like #oldwhitepeople, but it was nice.*

Dickenson Bay is also super close to the airport so if for some reason you had like three hours in Antigua, come fuck with this place

Dickenson Bay is also super close to the airport so if for some reason you had like three hours in Antigua, come fuck with this place

To celebrate our anniversary (a whopping one year!) I rented out a private boat with Catch the Cat, for three hours over sunset. This included unlimited drinks.

Did I murderfuck some rum punch and completely miss the sunset part because I was napping? YES I FUCKING DID DON’T JUDGE I’M DOING ME. The two hours I was conscious for, I absolutely loved and both Pate and I agree that it was the highlight of the trip.

It's tough being the official taste tester of an entire country's rum punch

It's tough being the official taste tester of an entire country's rum punch

The boat was beautiful, the drinks were strong, and Margot and Lucia were as warm and accommodating as can be. Also, Margot makes the best rum punch on the island and you know I literally drank all the rum punch on this fucking island.

Sunday

The following day, I took Pate to go swim with stingrays. Now, Pate is Aussie, so like, this is a really sensitive subject for him because of Steve Irwin (RIP Bro), but he was willing to give it a go. Fun fact: stingrays are like the puppy dogs of the ocean! They don’t attack you! Steve Irwin was trying to ride one and pissed it off (duh, I’d sting a motherfucker down for trying to get a piggy back from me too!). Although the water is baited to bring the stingrays close, there are rules and guidelines to keep the creatures safe. You know when you see people lifting up a fucking stingray straight up out of the water for selfie sake? Okay so that’s literally suffocating them. Stingrays have these two little holes on their tops (where they breathe from) and that part needs to stay submerged.

Fun fact: The little dinky stingrays are males and the big beautiful powerful stingrays are women. RAISe your hand if you're surprised cuz i'm not

Fun fact: The little dinky stingrays are males and the big beautiful powerful stingrays are women. RAISe your hand if you're surprised cuz i'm not

They are super friendly little slimy creatures, and unless you really fuck with one, they are completely harmless. BTW this place also gives you rum punch after the trip (not as good as Margot’s though, duh).

Now, we had heard from everyone that we just HAD to go up to Shirley Heights on Sunday evening. It was pitched to me as something very similar to Trinidad and Tobago’s Sunday School: lots of great barbecue, steel pan drums, gorgeous views, and a mix of locals and tourists (all of which is my fucking JAM). Now look, I try not to be a negative Nancy but for reals...this shit was wack. After we paid our $8 a pop entrance fee...

Gorgeous views, yes.

SO ROMANTIC

SO ROMANTIC

But like, also this.

FTW

FTW

Good barbecue, yeah like it wasn’t BAD. It also wasn’t cheap...

$28. twenty eight dollars and there was no mac and cheese whaaaaat

$28. twenty eight dollars and there was no mac and cheese whaaaaat

Awesome steel pan music? Totally.
But also, this white guy in cargo shorts not giving a FUCK and just standing there staring. Not even jiving. Just staring.

You know what, no bad vibes here. You do you, carl. 

You know what, no bad vibes here. You do you, carl. 

Locals and tourists coming together?

Um, I mean locals made the barbecue and served the beers but like, no Antiguans were partying there. It was white people central. Like, I’m 99% sure Sandals has a van that takes people to Shirley Heights on Sundays. Also, once the steel pan was over, there was a Shaggy cover band and I just fucking can’t with that.

just because i don't like cover bands, doesn't mean i can't give this guy props: he had awesome energy and a lovely voice. i just don't fuck with shaggy.

just because i don't like cover bands, doesn't mean i can't give this guy props: he had awesome energy and a lovely voice. i just don't fuck with shaggy.

We stayed for a few hours to see if the demographic would change. When it didn’t, we called it a night.

Even with the busted Shirley Heights “party” we still had a really beautiful two and a half days in Antigua. It was a short trip, but we both got so much sleep and were on a much more relaxed schedule than we are in New York, that it felt like we were there for a week. If you find a good deal on flights to Antigua, definitely go. So far, it’s my favorite place in the Caribbean!

A few extra notes:

  • Restaurants are NOT open all the time. At 4pm, we were really struggling to find a lunch spot as places normally close around 3/3:30 and re-open at 6:30/7. Plan accordingly.
  • Taxi’s are pretty expensive on the island. If you’re going to be there for more than a day or two, I highly recommend renting a car, even though it may be a bit expensive. It will simply allow you to visit more of the island.

  • Although it is spelled Antigua, it is pronounced an-TEE-gah.

  • USD is accepted everywhere, don’t even sweat changing to ECD.

Thanks for being the partner of my dreams. 

Thanks for being the partner of my dreams.